EDWARD CULLEN IS A CHILD MOLESTER

So, while reading Twilight today, I came to the sudden, horrific (yet infinitely amusing) realization that Edward Cullen is a Pedophile. This really puts a damper on the cutesy lubby dubby vampire cuddling story I have surrendered into reading. He was born in June 20, 1901 and he is molesting a 17 year old.

"No! He's 17 biologically!"

Shut your mouth fangirl. He's a hundred and eight years old. Next thing you know, he'll be at Bella's house expecting to molest her while she hyperventilates, but instead, finds

Chris Hansen... telling him to "Have a seat right there"
But he would probably look more like this:

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Chinese Chain Restaurant

So, I was just now thinking.. what am I going to do with my future? This is a question that I have spent many dark hours brooding about. Never once have I come up with an answer that I would drop everything to pursue. Until now.

There are a few chinese restaurant chains out there (panda express blah blah) but the potential of that part of the industry is still untapped. Once I win the lottery (pray for me) I will start my own fast food chain called "Wok It Out". With variations like "EAST SIDE: Wok it out" and "SOUTH SIDE: Wok it out". My flagship dish, in competition with Mcdonalds' Big Mac and Burger King's Whopper would be a Scallion Crust Pizza (remind me to think of a more appealing name--maybe Wangsta Deepdish or some shit) and instead of fries we would have mini skinny egg rolls ( or lean mean). Oh, and Ken Jeong would definitely be my mascot if I had a choice.

If you truly believe that this is not the greatest plan for a fast food chain ever conceived, then I will have to tell you that you are a moron.

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Okay so I started reading Twilight.. and to my great surprise, it's (so far) not bad. However I do have some not so great thoughts about the book and that can be seen in this short convo I had with my sister:

(7:15:32 PM) me: nice day out
(7:15:33 PM) me: haha
(7:15:40 PM) me: i spent as much time as i could outside
(7:15:43 PM) me: by mowing the lawn
(7:15:45 PM) me: and reading twilight
(7:15:47 PM) her: nice
(7:15:51 PM) her: how are you liking it?
(7:15:56 PM) met: bella is a stupid cunt
(7:16:11 PM) me: she is described as looking like a holocaust victim
(7:16:13 PM) me: or darth vader
(7:16:24 PM) her: lol i do not remember that
(7:16:41 PM) her: but have you gotten into it?
(7:16:51 PM) me: she makes herself sound albino and sickly looking
(7:16:59 PM) me: yea it's ok
(7:17:14 PM) me: she makes the vampires sound like they look like heroine addicts
(7:17:24 PM) her: lol yeha
(7:17:35 PM) her: i hate how its soo freakin repetitive
(7:17:46 PM) me: what's so repetitive
(7:17:46 PM) her: when she describes how his eyes are
(7:17:49 PM) me: oh lol
(7:17:50 PM) her: all amber and shit
(7:17:59 PM) me: oh noes my eyes are getting black
(7:18:00 PM) her: and how bellas heart beats faster
(7:18:02 PM) me: gotta shoot up again
(7:18:06 PM) her: lolol

On another note, I saw The Hangover yesterday and it was great. I'm not sure it deserves a 8.3 on IMDB but it still is a great movie. Kinda makes me want to go to vegas... and take "floorsies"

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OMG VAMPIRES! EDWARD CULLEN ♥ ♥

That's pretty much what pops into my mind when I think of "Twilight". Why? because women of all ages have been constantly drooling over these vampire books for a while now. And now that I'm on the verge of boredom induced suicide, I will force myself to read it.
























Super serious Edward Cullen

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Yea so in my boredom

I got all my Gamefaqs accounts either banned or put on Purgatory. Oh, and I created this blog. I can't decide which was the worst idea. Furthermore, I'm about done with the Chronicles of Naria, and I'm going to start reading TWILIGHT (gag me) after. As you can tell, dear reader, I live a VERY VERY entertaining life


Let's see.. here are some things I've done in the past MONTH I've been home (none of which are interesting):

1. Try and prepare for the GMAT :(
2. Read children's books ( like the two I mentioned)
3. Check up on Penn State football recruiting... every 6 hours
4. Work on my lamesoss online internship
5. Try very hard to remember what I dreamed about last night. (one dream had to do with chasing Soulja Boy into a Library)



On a different note:

Have you ever had Blue Crab Spread?
Kid you not, that stuff is like crack mixed with heroin.. mixed with crab.

Also on a different note: I hate those God awful verison Fios commericals with that retarded Fios guy and that poor poor Cable guy. It makes me want to go on a murder spree and then painfully beat myself to death with a blunt object. I hate this commerical almost as much as I hate "HI I'M A MAC" commericals.

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