Friday, July 3, 2009



I felt inclined to pad my boring life by playing the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia drinking game and Disney's Scene It. Needless to say I got hammered and went to Canyon, canceled out the progross I made at the gym this past week, and eneded up at the apartment I was at last friday.

In the last two weeks, this apartment was the sole location that anything memorable has happened to me so far.

Last week, I met one of our star football players, Jack Crawford, there.


And tonight, I met Mac's cousin (Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia).

Right now, I am sitting at my computer, dehydrated, hammered, and feeling very good about my insignificant life.

Hi Nikki, you are probably the only person that will read this. You have no idea how many times I had to backspace in this sentence alone. Let alone this whole post.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

For the past 5 minutes...


I just oogled over this new phone that's coming out called the HTC Hero (lame name I know)

thing is going to cost a fortune

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

back in business


Moved back into my apartment... cleaned up the place, and now it looks like it's in acceptable living condition.

Walked all over campus today to find a gym that was open, finally found one in Rec Hall aka Globo Gym but now my feet hurt and I have a headache probably due to dehydration.

Monday, June 15, 2009



So at this point I'm fairy irate about the two week marathon of rain that we've experienced in the northeast. Should I start chainsawing trees down and building myself a raft? This is getting ridiculous.

No, I should probably check the weather before I do that. I mean, it could be sunny tomorrow and I just don't know it. Let's not be too rash.

Let's take a look at the 10 day forecast courtesy of before we do anyth...

Oh sweet. This is perfect!
Hm... so I'll gather two of those robins that keep pooping on my deck, two of those fat moles that keep climbing our fruit trees, maybe that stupid cat that comes to beg for food sometimes and it's even more stupid friend... maybe some rabbits. Hell, I think I'll kidnap my neighbor's children and shove them on my raft too.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

GREAT news


North Korea plans on weaponizing Plutonium!

Looks like I won't have to worry about my future afterall!

Thanks Kimmy!

no problem dawg

Thursday, June 11, 2009

This is why I'm not friends with


These guys.

Pity them for they know not what gigantic tools they are

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Blast from the past


I just came across this article while dicking around on the internets:

The headline states:

Penn State Will Win the Big Ten in 2007

This Year the Big Ten Belongs to the Nittany Lions

Now we all know that Penn State ended the year with a birth to the Alamo Bowl and had to come from behind to beat unranked Texas A&M... but we're from the future, so let's play along.

This douche lists 5 SOLID reasons why Penn State will be the crowned champs. Number 1 being

"First reason Penn State will win the Big Ten in 2007: The downfall of Michigan

Nobody could have predicted that Michigan would be
A: 0-2 and
B: really, really bad.

Anything and everything that could go wrong for the Wolverines has so far. Chad Henne is out for at least the Notre Dame game, Mike Hart has been roughed up in the first two games and has missed playing time in both games, and practically every Michigan alum is calling for the head of Lloyd Carr. The biggest surprise to me is just how bad the Michigan defense has looked. At this point I think a Division I-AA team could score thirty points on the Wolverines.


Normally I would be very nervous about Penn State heading into the Big House to play Michigan in two weeks. Not so much anymore. Michigan has lost two straight at home and no matter what happens against the Irish I like the Lions' chances in their first Big Ten game of the year."

Since we're from the future, we know that:
A. We lost to Michigan despite them not having Chad Henne play against us
B. Their "awfulness" ended up beating puny Heisman winner Tim Tebow and the reigning national Champs: The Florida Gators.
and C. If a Division 1-AA team can score 30 points on the Wolverines why can we score no more than 9. Oh I know, it's because we had no chance to win the Big Ten in 07. Let's move on.

Second reason Penn State will win the Big Ten in 2007: Beaver Stadium

Other than the trip to Michigan in two weeks every big game Penn State plays this season is at Beaver Stadium. Notre Dame last week, Wisconsin on October 13, and Ohio State on October 27 all are at Happy Valley. As a former member of the 100,000+ crowd at Beaver Stadium I can tell you right now just how crazy the atmosphere at Beaver Stadium really is. Beaver Stadium has been called the hardest place for visiting teams to play at. Ohio State and Wisconsin experienced it two years ago and they will again this year. I can't wait. "

Though we ripped apart Wisconsin, we got our asses handed to us by Ohio State. I guess our 100,000+ crowd failed us yet again.

Third reason Penn State will win the Big Ten in 2007: Receivers, anybody?

Penn State has the most underrated core of wide receivers in the country. Derrick Williams is looking to finally emerge as the star that everybody believed he would be when he was recruited. Williams has an almost perfect combination of speed, agility, and awareness. Did you see him on the punt return against Notre Dame? Deon Butler may actually be a little bit better than Williams when it comes to spreading the field., which is a scary thought for opposing coaches. Jordan Norwood just doesn't drop the ball. I love watching him go over the middle. Chris Bell and Terrell Golden are the next generation of wide receivers to play at Penn State and they are studs. When the Lions spread the field with all this talent there is no team that can defend them.

None. "

Sure D Wheels is fast but he's horrible at route running. Nothing is wrong here except that Chris Bell got kicked off the team for pulling a knife on a teammate (he was also suspended at the time) and Terrell Golden is the OPPOSITE of "the next generation" of wide receiver to play at Penn State simply because 2007 was his senior year. Also, a lot of teams can defend our WRs... just look at us THIS YEAR vs. Ohio State.. let alone in 2007 with that stud Anthony Morrelli throwing the football around.

Fourth reason Penn State will win the Big Ten in 2007: The defense

Dan Connor is the best inside linebacker in the country. Justin King may be the best cover cornerback in the nation. Sean Lee is one of the best linebackers in the Big Ten. If Anthony Scirrotto can keep himself out of trouble the Nittany Lions have another all-conference player, this time at safety. Simply stated there is no team in the Big Ten that has a better defense than Penn State.

Let me repeat that. There is no team in the Big Ten that has a better defense than Penn State. "

Hmm.... Too bad Ohio State's was better and Michigan's was better than even Ohio State's. Oh.. and we lost to Michigan State. So we pretty much sucked that year.

Fifth reason Penn State will win the Big Ten in 2007: Austin Scott

With all the talk about the Penn State offense centering around quarterback Anthony Morelli and the wide receivers many people are ignoring just how well Scott is running the ball so far. Scott has rushed for 162 yards and four touchdowns on 39 carries thus far, an average of 4.2 yards per carry. Not too shabby for the young man replacing Tony Hunt. Scott's continued success is vital for the Lions, especially one Big Ten play begins."

Too bad Scott's favorite thing to do was to fumble the football. The fact that he got kicked off the team for raping a girl probably helped out the team. Scott was a 5 star recruit while Tony Hunt was only a 3 star. Scott's horrible work ethic was the reason why Hunt started over him in the first place.

With that being said, we're probably going to win our second consecutive Big Ten championship this coming season. But I really hope this guy doesn't jinx it by writing another piece of douchebaggery such as this.

Monday, June 8, 2009



So, while reading Twilight today, I came to the sudden, horrific (yet infinitely amusing) realization that Edward Cullen is a Pedophile. This really puts a damper on the cutesy lubby dubby vampire cuddling story I have surrendered into reading. He was born in June 20, 1901 and he is molesting a 17 year old.

"No! He's 17 biologically!"

Shut your mouth fangirl. He's a hundred and eight years old. Next thing you know, he'll be at Bella's house expecting to molest her while she hyperventilates, but instead, finds

Chris Hansen... telling him to "Have a seat right there"
But he would probably look more like this:

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Chinese Chain Restaurant


So, I was just now thinking.. what am I going to do with my future? This is a question that I have spent many dark hours brooding about. Never once have I come up with an answer that I would drop everything to pursue. Until now.

There are a few chinese restaurant chains out there (panda express blah blah) but the potential of that part of the industry is still untapped. Once I win the lottery (pray for me) I will start my own fast food chain called "Wok It Out". With variations like "EAST SIDE: Wok it out" and "SOUTH SIDE: Wok it out". My flagship dish, in competition with Mcdonalds' Big Mac and Burger King's Whopper would be a Scallion Crust Pizza (remind me to think of a more appealing name--maybe Wangsta Deepdish or some shit) and instead of fries we would have mini skinny egg rolls ( or lean mean). Oh, and Ken Jeong would definitely be my mascot if I had a choice.

If you truly believe that this is not the greatest plan for a fast food chain ever conceived, then I will have to tell you that you are a moron.

Saturday, June 6, 2009


Okay so I started reading Twilight.. and to my great surprise, it's (so far) not bad. However I do have some not so great thoughts about the book and that can be seen in this short convo I had with my sister:

(7:15:32 PM) me: nice day out
(7:15:33 PM) me: haha
(7:15:40 PM) me: i spent as much time as i could outside
(7:15:43 PM) me: by mowing the lawn
(7:15:45 PM) me: and reading twilight
(7:15:47 PM) her: nice
(7:15:51 PM) her: how are you liking it?
(7:15:56 PM) met: bella is a stupid cunt
(7:16:11 PM) me: she is described as looking like a holocaust victim
(7:16:13 PM) me: or darth vader
(7:16:24 PM) her: lol i do not remember that
(7:16:41 PM) her: but have you gotten into it?
(7:16:51 PM) me: she makes herself sound albino and sickly looking
(7:16:59 PM) me: yea it's ok
(7:17:14 PM) me: she makes the vampires sound like they look like heroine addicts
(7:17:24 PM) her: lol yeha
(7:17:35 PM) her: i hate how its soo freakin repetitive
(7:17:46 PM) me: what's so repetitive
(7:17:46 PM) her: when she describes how his eyes are
(7:17:49 PM) me: oh lol
(7:17:50 PM) her: all amber and shit
(7:17:59 PM) me: oh noes my eyes are getting black
(7:18:00 PM) her: and how bellas heart beats faster
(7:18:02 PM) me: gotta shoot up again
(7:18:06 PM) her: lolol

On another note, I saw The Hangover yesterday and it was great. I'm not sure it deserves a 8.3 on IMDB but it still is a great movie. Kinda makes me want to go to vegas... and take "floorsies"

Friday, June 5, 2009



That's pretty much what pops into my mind when I think of "Twilight". Why? because women of all ages have been constantly drooling over these vampire books for a while now. And now that I'm on the verge of boredom induced suicide, I will force myself to read it.

Super serious Edward Cullen

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Yea so in my boredom


I got all my Gamefaqs accounts either banned or put on Purgatory. Oh, and I created this blog. I can't decide which was the worst idea. Furthermore, I'm about done with the Chronicles of Naria, and I'm going to start reading TWILIGHT (gag me) after. As you can tell, dear reader, I live a VERY VERY entertaining life

Let's see.. here are some things I've done in the past MONTH I've been home (none of which are interesting):

1. Try and prepare for the GMAT :(
2. Read children's books ( like the two I mentioned)
3. Check up on Penn State football recruiting... every 6 hours
4. Work on my lamesoss online internship
5. Try very hard to remember what I dreamed about last night. (one dream had to do with chasing Soulja Boy into a Library)

On a different note:

Have you ever had Blue Crab Spread?
Kid you not, that stuff is like crack mixed with heroin.. mixed with crab.

Also on a different note: I hate those God awful verison Fios commericals with that retarded Fios guy and that poor poor Cable guy. It makes me want to go on a murder spree and then painfully beat myself to death with a blunt object. I hate this commerical almost as much as I hate "HI I'M A MAC" commericals.